My Baby Girl

My baby girl got engaged last night. My baby girl is 24 years old (will be 25 in Nov). She's been dating this boy for 8 years. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all they have been living together for years, they bought a home together, they are getting ready to take a big vacation together. But, my BABY GIRL is engaged.
I am happy for her, for both of them. But this has tickled my nostalgia bone and I remember things from long ago. The moment she was born, the time she slept in a suitcase, the time I took her into NYC to see the Christmas decorations. The first time she performed with NY Kids on Stage. The first time she performed at the Bijou. When she had chicken pox. When she had to get stitches. My baby girl is engaged. Where did the time go???

Racism

As a "Yankee" who has relocated to the South I am amazed at the diversity of opinion I encounter on racism. In my job I daily deal with TANF recipients (which I was myself not too long ago). The stereotypes of our youth are still alive and well, but in my daily experience those stereotypes are from from reality. My caseload alone presents a wide spectrum of races, genders, educational levels, work experience. Yet the view of the poor black woman, who doesn't want to work, has little or no education, and five kids with different fathers persists. That is so far from the truth. I have assisted women with college degrees, one child, coming out of lengthy marriages, men trying to put their families lives together after catastrophic job loss, and a plethora of other situations. In this generation I would hope we, as a society, would have grown past the "stereotypes". Will we ever view individuals as just that, unique people, with their own set of problems and situations?
Oddly enough I have experienced racism myself. I am a middle aged white woman with four children (all grown now) who has had to rely on "the system" while I struggled to raise my family with no assistance or support from my former spouse. When I talk about having received food stamps, or lived in public housing, my history os greeted with disbelief. "But you're white!" Or "But you're educated!" But I am human just like everyone else. Anyone can fall on hard times, or make mistakes that put them in uncomfortable positions. I work with single mothers, black and white, educated and not so educated, who have struggled and succeeded to make good lives for their families. In the end it's all about attitude and determination, and the Grace of G-d.
I thank G-d every day for putting me where I am so I can in some way return the blessings I have received. It's what I love about my job. Never forget where you came from, never think you can't fall, never judge another person. You haven't lived their lives.

Peanut Butter

You know when you can't open the peanut butter, and you hit it with the knife, and it dents the top , but it still won't open. There is always someone watching who waits. Because they KNOW when you give up they will be able to open it because YOU have loosened it. They do it with such glee. Why is that?

Tzedaka

I have pondered the question of leaving my job. I have prayed. Below are the answers I received. What is more important? My comfort? Helping someone less fortunate? Yes there are others who can do this job as well or better. But I think of Hillel.
"If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?"


Maimonides defines eight levels in giving charity (tzedakah). Each one is higher than the other. On an ascending level, they are as follows:
8. When donations are given grudgingly.
7. When one gives less than he should, but does so cheerfully.
6. When one gives directly to the poor upon being asked.
5. When one gives directly to the poor without being asked.
4. Donations when the recipient is aware of the donor's identity, but the donor still doesn't know the specific identity of the recipient.
3. Donations when the donor is aware to whom the charity is being given, but the recipient is unaware of the source.
2. Giving assistance in such a way that the giver and recipient are unknown to each other. Communal funds, administered by responsible people are also in this category.
1. The highest form of charity is to help sustain a person before they become impoverished by offering a substantial gift in a dignified manner, or by extending a suitable loan, or by helping them find employment or establish themselves in business so as to make it unnecessary for them to become dependent on others.
Thus it is written: "And you strengthened the stranger who lives with you." i.e. Strengthen him so he won't fall and need your help.

Female Heroes - Sheroes??

Survey - Female Heroes


There's been a lot of talk this past years about John Glenn being an "American Hero. "But what about women like Jerrie Cobb who have the right stuff but are not exhalted to the same level as male heroes? In honor of Cobb and the other women who lead the way, here's your opportunity to tell us about the sheroes you admire most.
1. What do you think makes someone a shero?
2. What woman in your own life is your shero? Why?
3. When you were growing up what female role model most influenced you? Why?
4. What woman in history is your shero? Why?
5. What current woman in public life is a true shero? Why?
6. Are you a shero and why? (Be honest!)

DESIDERATA

Written by

Max Ehrmann in the 1920s

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Searching

Well it has come to the point where I may have to decide between my job and my health (and my marriage??) I love what I do. I truly do. It is a worthwhile job, in fact it is incredibly rewarding. But over the past week things have gone so sour "politically" that I have ended up in the ER, my doctor has scolded me, my husband has told me to quit immediately, and I feel so torn I want to cry. Is a job worth your life? I have never thought so. A wonderful opportunity for something better is right there waiting, but it is so unlike my current position that even though it pays substantially more, is a high supervisory position, it is NOT giving anything back. For me it has always been about giving back.
I don't think I am looking for advice. I am looking into myself, trying to find some way to put things in perspective, keep a level head, and not get "ghetto" about the whole situation. I was blindsided by this and now I am so shocked at how behaviors can change at the drop of a hat. I have come to the conclusion that people don't really want to hear the TRUTH, they want to hear their truth and what makes them comfortable. So my opinions are my own.
From co-workers who talk to me on a regular basis, it appears as though there may be a mass exodus. I can't believe it! I have listened to grumblings for months, but suddenly it's this huge explosion of whispers. I keep saying, I am not the person to talk to. Talk to the BOSS! But I understand how they feel. Who do I talk to? My family who thinks I need to find something else? My Rabbi who somewhat agrees with my family, but is a little more understanding of my position. My friends away from work who are eager to get me jobs where they work?
As one person recommended, I just pray and wait for an answer.

Dieting is Hard 

On Friendship...

Are your friends only your friends when you agree with them? Do they only want you to regurgitate what they say, like some inept school teacher who doesn't care if you understand, just agree? Why are some people so stubborn that they believe their way is the only way, what they feel is the only thing of importance, and what any other person thinks is okay as long as it stands in agreement with what THEY think. Ay.
And then the obsessives ... oh yes they are wonderful indeed. The few who see only the negative, the cloud, the darkness. "Everyone is out to get me so I am going to get them first!!" How egotistical to think it is all about yourself.
I am tired, and I am sick, and I think I have had enough emotional debris laid at my door for this week thank you very much.
Excuse me while I pray ... for the friends who aren't really friends, the negative thinking obsessives, and of course the egotists with their fragile psyches. And I think a little prayer for myself, for patience, for understanding, for forgiveness. For the wisdom to see the open door and the courage to go through it.

Power and Corruption

I have seen so many people come to positions of power with the best intentions, the desire to make positive changes in a world fraught with negative occurrences. Somewhere along the way, they become enamored of their own power, of the titles bestowed on them, and they forget the goal. I don't believe they make conscious choices to walk away from their altruistic dreams. It seems more like a drawing toward some kind of undefined glory. Captivated by their seeming omnipotence, they attempt to maneuver the world (and people) to fit their design. Rather like Dr Frankenstein they struggle to create "Life" or a form of Life that meshes with their own ideals.
Is this the ongoing struggle between Man and G-d? Is Man's desire to equal G-d what keeps us from uniting with G-d?
Bereshit 3
"4 And the serpent said unto the woman: 'Ye shall not surely die;
5 for G-d doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as G-d, knowing good and evil.'"

Faith

I have been reading The Tanakh and various versions of the Christian Old Testament. So much of what we believe is based on Faith. Our Faith causes us to interpret G-d's Holy Word. I wonder why people who hold specific beliefs, based on their own faith, insist on trying to persuade others they are right, their way is the only way. Is it truly the desire to help or is it ego? Is it the desire to bend another person to their will or to improve another's life? Is it out of love or is it control?
Some people DO seem to want to "save" others, to guide them to what they believe is the right path. Their Faith is firm and they believe sharing their experiences, their beliefs, is a mitzvah, or a good deed/blessing. That led me to think about my Faith. I am happy to share my beliefs and discuss them. Do I want others to believe what I believe? I want to share the blessings I have gotten from G_d, the wonders that G_d had shown me, but do they need to believe as I believe? I don't know that that is something I am concerned with. Love G_d and love your neighbor, all the rest will follow.

Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Elohaynu Adonai Echad.

I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Ex.20:5-6, Deut.5:8-9).
It's scary!... and the truth!... that's what God Himself says: I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God.

Jesus and the "Ten Commandments"
Jesus Christ stated the original Ten could be boiled down to two: - Love God with all your heart, the first stone tablet - and love your neighbor as yourself, the second stone tablet (Mr.12:28-31):
28One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

29"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is ONE.

30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' 31The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (Mr.12:28-31).
It should be noticed that Jesus mentioned the First Commandment, not from the Decalogue, but from the "Shema", which means "Hear": 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (Deut.6:4-5).

17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfil them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practises and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven Matthew 5:17-19.

What did Jesus mean by this? Obviously as a good Jew in a time when the Temple had become corrupt, Jesus sought to reestablish Judaism by reinforcing the laws given us by G-d. How can the Shema be reconciled with the Christian Trinity? And what about the Law?

It was only during my conversion to Judaism that I began to see Jesus more clearly. I seem to be thinking about all these biblical references a lot lately as I try to live my life according to G_d's law. Truly I believe we are here to praise G_d our Father and Creator but also to follow his law to love one another. Every day I hear or see evidence of one person treating another shamefully, speaking about someone unkindly, and I have my guilty moments as well. I am trying to do better. It's so easy to follow the Shema, and so much more difficult to "love your neighbor".
On a daily scale it isn't so hard. But to truly respect and love your neighbor on a world-wide level. Whew! What a challenge!