An Interesting Experience

I had an interesting experience recently and I have been mulling it over, trying to put it in perspective. My husband is a musician and he and a "buddy" have formed a duo. They are working up toward playing some gigs locally and were asked to perform at a Fall Festival at a local church. (Pay was a pumpkin but that isn't the point.) Readers of my blog have by now learned I was raised Roman Catholic, dabbled very lightly in Buddhism, was a practicing Episcopalian, and as my former pastor and friend says, returned to my Jewish roots. I have met some incredible people of all faiths and I have met some fools. Anyway, I digress.
The lady in charge of the event and her husband are active members of their church. The husband has a disability (visually impaired but not blind). I mention this because it does have some bearing on the tale. When we first arrived and the guys were setting up I could see this was not going to be a super successful event. The "husband" came up to me and said, "I am recruiting all the ladies with big boobs to go to the road and flash cars so we can get more people in." Mind you this is only the second time I've been around the man. We are not old friends. I sort of brushed off as a tasteless comment. But it made me uncomfortable enough that I mentioned it to my husband in the man's presence so there should be no misunderstanding. (My husband is very mellow and apparently proud of my endowments. I think he exaggerates) This guy also had a fifth of whiskey which he shared with a couple of people. My problem? This event was geared toward families and there were children around. Seems to me that a church event, sponsored by the church youth ought to be handled with a bit more discretion.
Which brings me to the nagging thought on my mind. I have encountered some people recently who claim to be "Christians" but whose behavior is not in line with what I was taught Christ preached. Now it may seem bold of me to say that, having converted and all, but I don't reject Jesus teachings, just his divinity. (That's an entirely different matter so let's not go there.) Granted this man did share his booze. But what about people who constantly find fault with others, whose envy makes them vengeful? What about the professed Christians who cheat (just a little), lie (only little white ones), and sit in judgment on their fellows?
I am having a hard time with Bible thumpers who can quote Scripture and bend it to fit their actions. How can we judge another person's worthiness in G-d's eyes??? We can judge their behaviors but we can't know what G-d thinks. Yes, we have Commandments to follow (a lot more than 10) but paramount are worshipping the one true G-d and loving our neighbors.
Sorry guys. I had to vent. Comment if you like. I am not in an argumentative mood. Just very sad.

Revenant

"I saw you today in the crowds that poured forth from tall concrete buildings, their thoughts on seeing and being seen at local watering holes. I saw you today and your face was half turned from me, the autumn sun falling across your profile,casting shadows on cheekbones I remember so well. I saw you today, hair lifting lightly in the breeze, hand slightly raised to brush it back into place. I saw you today, uncertain smile on your full lips, glistening and parted. I could taste those lips, smell that sweet breath that blew warm and moist across my own. I saw you today. Risen from the grave of my memory and walking through downtown crowds, confidently shy. How is it possible that I saw you today when you are hundreds of miles away in body and galaxies away in spirit?"

Here Without You
(Music by Arnold, Roberts & Harrell)
A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same
All the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight, there's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl, there's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it won't take away my love

And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.

It gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl, there's only you and me

When I'm Gone

(Music by Arnold, Roberts & Harrell)
There's another world inside of me that you may never see.
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide.
Somewhere in this darkness there's a life that I can't find.
Maybe it's too far away or maybe I'm just blind, maybe I'm just blind.
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.
I'll never let you down even if I could.
I'd give up everything if only for your good.
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.
You can hold me when I'm scared but you won't always be there,
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone
When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin.
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends.
Now roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone.
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone.
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.
Everything I am and everything in me.
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be,
I'll never let you down even if I could.
I'd give up everything if only for your good.
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there,
So love me when I'm gone.
(Maybe I'm just blind)
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.
Everything I am and everything in me,Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.
I'll never let you down even if I could.
I'd give up everything if only for your good.
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there.
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone.

"Behold, the young woman is with child and will bear a son and she will call his name Emmanuel."

Like A Fine Wine

"His hair blew back from the high forehead, the brow furrowed as the grit of the city stung his eyes. There were no answers there, only more questions. She was a mystery, a lady in gray who moved in and out of his life with the subtlety of a song. The half-remembered lyrics of her hymn hanging in his mind and tugging at the corners, eager to draw him back in.
She was a Madonna in high heels and silk skin, an angel who tempted him, the curve of her smiling lips a promise of things to come. But the small sips of fine wine led only to a drunkenness that left him staggering blindly, always reaching to touch the strands of her hair, only to have it all slip away on the mist."
And you thought I couldn't see your side.

Why?

I wonder why it is so necessary for some people to have the world agree with them. Are they so insecure in their own beliefs that it is only through persuading others that they feel validated? This seems particularly true of people with imagined authority. Perhaps they realize their authority is tenuous and struggle to convince themselves that they are somehow "in charge". There's something strangely sad about watching someone who thinks they are "the boss" work to maintain eye contact, speak loudly to impart control, and hunt for the right words to say to get attention. So sad.
Who cares what you say if your words are nothing more than self-aggrandizing dialogues with yourself? A meager attempt to prove you have control of the situation. The kinder part of me lets them go on, because it really doesn't matter if they believe they have control. It costs me nothing as long as their actions do no harm to myself or others. Carry on. But the naughty side of me toys with the notion of pushing the flimsy pedestal over and watching them cartwheel as they fall flat on their faces. Still there is no gain there. I need to just behave in what I believe is the "right" way and hope they find their "right" way.