Remembering the Tears

I will leave behind all of my clothes
I wore when I was with you
All I need's my railroad boots
And my leather jacket
As I say goodbye to Ruby's arms
Although my heart is breaking

I will steal away out through your blinds
Soon you will be waking
The morning light has washed your face
And everything is turning blue now

Hold on to your pillow case
There's nothing I can do now
As I say goodbye to Ruby's arms
You'll find another soldier
And I swear to God by Christmas time
There'll be someone new to hold you

The only thing I'm taking is
The scarf off of your clothesline
I'll hurry past your chest of drawers
And your broken wind chimes
As I say goodbye
I say goodbye
Say goodbye
To Ruby's arms

I'll feel my way down the darkened hall
And out into the morning
The hobos at the freightyards
Have kept their fires burning
And I said Jesus Christ
This goddamn rain
Will someone put me on a train
I'll never kiss your lips again
Or break your heart

As I say goodbye
I say goodbye
Say goodbye
To Ruby's arms


And it still makes me cry... "I watch you fade down the hall, your face in shadow, my heart in my hand..."
Is it 19 years since Insignificance? Clear as bell I smell the autumn city air, the crispness of late September, the noisy streets, the touch of your hand and the moment passed. Those bright fall mornings when winter whispered around the corner and I never knew the beginning and end were entwined like lovers in an eternal embrace.
Now when I am at my happiest and peace is finally resting on my breast like a fulfilled child I am drawn to those memories, an unwilling captive of my own past.
I want to apologize for the angry words, the lost time you were so concerned with ... but you are lost like time now and the words hang in the air, a bitter reminder of opportunities missed.